In this phase of my life I find myself reflecting on decisions and choices over the last days, months, and even years... The only constant in my life these days are my loving family and my great job. And they have both been lifesavers! However, I am nowhere near where I wanted to be or even thought I'd be at this point.
I am separated, living with family, and turning to food way more than I should, and frankly more than I even want to... It's just such a habit even still. I have gained a lot of the weight back and that is BEYOND frustrating. I'm so mad at myself for allowing food to continue to control me. I should be SO much further than this in my journey.
But then I stop and think... In the last year or so since being on Dr. Oz I've moved three times, lost my job, got a new job, had two family members in the hospital due to serious illness, separated from my husband, had to give my dog to a new owner, and downsize all of my belongings into 4 storage tubs and some reusable bags... Not an easy year by any stretch of the imagination, but it certainly could have been worse.
How do I get past the urge to eat when my life feels out of control. Even though several of those life events were due to choices I made, the ramifications had lasting effects and even a few unknown consequences. Not that I'd change any of those choices, but I would change my reaction to the stress and emotion of it all.
The last four and a half weeks specifically have been very tough on my eating. I've been living in a transition of sorts as I figure out what I'm doing and of course, eating out has been a LOT easier than trying to plan, shop, and cook. However, I feel like crap, and I'm gaining weight and I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!
So today I'm taking back my health and wellness! I'm writing down everything that goes in my mouth. I'm being planful and taking the necessary few minutes to ensure that I'm prepared for snack attacks and boredom. I'm going to go for a walk/jog tonight too and I'm actually looking forward to it. :)
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
I AM DOING THIS!
Here I Am
4 days ago