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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Day 10

Today went exceptionally well. I had my yummy automated breakfast, some lentil soup for lunch loaded with veggies, and for dinner Scott and I went to Chipotle. We went to the movies and I had no desire for popcorn! Scott ended up getting some, and it was not even a temptation for me! I think it helped that I had a full tummy from dinner, but pre-Dr. Oz I could have had dinner (which would have included the rice and chips) and then scarfed at least half the large popcorn and a large soda. After a couple of rougher days where I wanted things I shouldn't eat, today was very encouraging. :)

We went shopping tonight for the weeks groceries and it struck me just how expensive it is to eat healthy foods. What they should do is make it super expensive to eat all the bad-for-you foods and make it cheaper to eat healthy! LOL More people would be likely to eat healthy that way! :)

Looking forward to a full day with my honey tomorrow. Working opposite schedules during the week, we really only get to spend quality time together on the weekends. I'm hoping we'll head down to Lake Eola with our dog Maggie. This way we get to spend time to together AND I get my exercise in. :)

Well, I'm off to play with my iPhone. Lol It's been a great distraction from food and hunger which in and of itself is more than making up for the cost! :)

Friday, October 30, 2009

Day 9

I think the "honeymoon" phase is coming to an end. LOL I'm so tired all the time and I don't want to exercise like I did. However, I am not just going to give in to my flesh. I have stuck to my plan, and I will continue to exercise. I know that I will feel energized and pumped again soon. Apparently the second week is one of the hardest, and I think that's true. :)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Day 8

Today went well, but I am feeling so exhausted. When I got home from work, it took everything I had in me to go walk for 30 minutes. I was so close to just laying on the couch for the rest of the night, but I didn't. I changed my clothes, put on my fabulous new tennies from Nancy, and walked for 30 minutes.

Tonight was the first night I actually considered stuffing my face and forgetting all about the plan. And then I stopped, made myself my automated breakfast for dinner (because it seemed more like comfort food lol) and drank some more water.

I fought the temptation to rebel and I won. A huge part of that success is due to all the family and friends I have watching me, praying for me, and standing along side me during this journey. If it wasn't for that accountability, I would be stuffing my face with buttered up white rice right now.

So thank you my friends! Thank you for holding me accountable, and for cheering me on even when I don't want to do it anymore. :)


I lost 7.7 pounds this week! PTL! :) What a great start to a new life!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Day 7

This time last week I was flying home from NYC wondering if I was really going to be able to do this. I had eaten my "last meal" and was terrified of failing and letting everyone down. I was afraid that I couldn't let go of my addiction to food. I was afraid that I was going to be that one person who just couldn't change.

Seven days later I feel like I different person! I am strong, and feeling great. I am battling this food addiction head on. I have family and friends who are standing up along side of me and encouraging me, cheering me on to success.

Tomorrow I weigh in, and I am sooooo excited! I cannot wait to post my results. :)

I was watching the Biggest Loser tonight and as much as I love the show something didn't sit right with me. Their focus is weight loss and health, which is great. They are competing with each other which is a great motivator. But what I was startled by was their reaction to the number on the scale. One of them men lost 5 pounds in a week, and he was disappointed. One of the women lost 4 pounds and she about burst into tears -- not from happiness, but from what appeared to be shame.

I can't say I won't be disappointed if I don't see a drop in the numbers tomorrow. But what I'm going to try to dwell on regardless of what the scale says is how wonderful I feel! I am reconnecting with my Lord and Savior in such a sweet and powerful way. I am taking back control of my body instead of letting fat and sugar and carbs control me.

I am happy. I am excited. I am empowered. To me, these things are so much more significant than what that scale tells me tomorrow. My life is changing so dramatically. I am not the same woman who stepped off that plane last week. And I am so looking forward to all of the changes to come.

I just have to remind myself of all of this tomorrow! LOL

Just one of those days...

This morning started like any other... hit the snooze a few times, showered & brushed my teeth, fixed my automated breakfast (egg white "burrito" on italian herb flat out), did my hair, got dressed, and out the door we went...

Work started like it usually does too. And then, out of no where, SMACK. I felt like I was run over by a freight train. It's been a crazy few weeks for me at work, and I was finally starting to catch up, but apparently some things slipped through the cracks. Well, one thing here, and one thing there is usally no biggie for me. But it was like every 5 minutes something else was going wrong!

My normal reaction to such stress, anxiety and insecurity inducing events--CHOCOLATE! Today, after shedding a couple tears and talking myself out of just packing up and going home, I decided to take a deep breath and just take it one thing at a time. My day has not gotten better in terms of all the crap I am having to deal with, but it has gotten way better in terms of my attitude.

Isn't it funny how Satan tries to steal every ounce of joy from us any way he can? He sure has been hitting me hard this past week, and since he's not winning with food he's attacking from all other angles. But you know what, I actually have peace from that because it means I'm doing something right!

This new journey is bringing me closer and closer to God. On my walks I am listening to my favorite worship music. Every time I feel hungry I pray - for strength, for peace, for my dear friend and coach Nancy while she is cruising the islands :).

I had made food my idol. I thought more about food than I did anything else. And while I still think about food ALL THE TIME, I am beginning to counter that with more healthy thoughts and practices. My mind is fixed more and more on Him, because only through Him am I able to do any of this.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Day 6!

Two days before weigh in I'm super stoked to see how much progress I have made. In preparation of my weigh in, and all of the weigh in's to come, I made a thermometer to track my progress! :) My first goal is to lose 10% of my body weight, which is about 36 pounds. Normally I would never share my actual weight with ANYONE, but since I shared it on the Dr. Oz show I figure all of America will know soon enough! LOL

I cannot wait to update this graph! Looking forward to weighing in is so weird! I weigh myself often, but usually with a sense of dread, not wondering how much I've lost, but how much I've gained. Seeing that number climb every time I stepped on the scale has been so disheartening. I had begun to lose hope that I would ever be a "normal" size. I had accepted the fact that I would be fat the rest of my life. I had convinced myself that I was a failure and could never overcome my food addiction.

Today, six days after meeting the most incredible woman (next to my mommy) that I have ever known, I have reclaimed the hope of being healthy, and better yet, happy. I have such a peace about this. I know that I can do it. I am doing it. By the grace of God I am getting healthier one day at a time. I am seeing success, I am feeling empowered, I am one step closer to defeating this addiction. I am eating to live rather than living to eat.

I still want to eat 24/7. I still struggle every second to make the right food choice and to skip the stuff I know I should not eat. Not having rice and sour cream on my burrito bowl today was so hard. I love rice! I love sour cream! Last night my hubby stopped at McDonald's on his way home from work and I wanted to taste his burger SO BAD. I was literally drooling. But, I walked away. I did not give in. And it felt SO GOOD!

I never ever ever ever thought I would be able to say no to the food I loved and feel good about it. I am not that girl. I am the one who reads stories like this and says, "yeah, right. whatever." But I'm telling you, if I can do it, you CAN DO IT.

Even right now my tummy is saying "FEED ME!!!!" lol but I am not going to do it. I am going to fill up my water bottle, and drink up! :)

Chipotle is in!

One of the things I used to hate about dieting is trying to eat out. This time around I am searching the web for nutritious options at my favorite restaurants, and even some new restaurants to try out.

In my hunt, I found this awesome site where you can calculate the nutritional value of your selection at Chipotle. is a nifty tool that creates a Nutrition Facts label like you would see on an item in the grocery store. I was able to figure out just what I could eat without blowing my plan.

Normally I would choose a chicken burrito bowl (no tortilla) with rice, black beans, tomato, corn, cheese, sour cream, lettuce, and a bag of chips.

This would be a whopping 1335 Calories, 58g Fat, 18g Saturated Fat, 185mg Cholesterol. 2280mg Sodium, 141g Carbs, 22g Fiber, 16g Sugar and 63g Protein... Wow.

My selection today was only slightly different, but provided a much healthier option. I got my chicken burrito bowl, but eliminated the rice, cheese, sour cream and the bag of chips and added fajita veggies.

This was only 435 Calories, 10g Fat, 2g Saturated Fat, 115mg Cholesterol, 16700mg Sodium, 47g Carbs, 15g Fiber, 12g Sugar, 44g Protein. Much, much better!

As I find these nifty options I'll be sure to share them. And I'd love to hear about your good finds at local restaurants and even in home recipes!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Day 5

Well, it's been 5 days now and I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling better physically and also mentally and emotionally. I have my moments (don't we all), but overall I am just in shock over how much I want this. Most diets I try are fraught with rebellion, anger, and bitterness over giving up all the yummy foods I want so badly. Something is different this time. I'm different this time. Just praying that it continues!!!

Waiting for the other shoe to drop...

So it's day 5 of my new journey with Nancy and Dr. Oz and so far it has not been as hard as I always imagined it would be. Maybe it is all of the support I am getting from Nancy, my family, my friends and coworkers... Maybe I was just ready to make the change... Whatever it is, I'm just glad it's not as agonizing and difficult as I had made it out to be.

Don't get me wrong, I still want chocolate and subs and ice cream, and doughnuts, and bagels, and cookies, and etc etc etc. I want to eat and over eat. Food is on my mind 24/7 just like it was before I met Dr. Oz and Nancy and made the decision to really do this. But for some reason, it seems easier. I don't feel alone. I don't feel deprived when I turn down that cookie or popcorn or cake, but rather, I feel empowered because I made the choice. The food does not control me.

So now I'm worried... LOL I'm worried that I'm being naive. In my mind I hear "Of course it's easy, Amy! You've only been doing it for 5 days. You're still riding the high!" What do I do when the high is gone, when the memory of the cameras and lights fade? I know that I will have Nancy to cheer me on every day when we talk. And that is totally encouraging!

I guess I'm just hoping that it doesn't get harder than it already is. Every day I struggle with something. Sometimes it's a little something, other times it's a big something. Everytime it's a food something. LOL

I'm facing my fears of giving up food as a comfort and it's scaring the crap out of me. It has always been my best friend and my worst enemy. I'm learning how to choose the good foods, the fuel I need for my body to work at its best. I'm even comfortable talking about food with other people -- a real first!

I started this post because I was feeling apprehensive, and now, as I finish my stream of thought, I realize that I am feeling confident. I can do this! I will do this! Wow, my whole perspective has shifted. My focus is not on waiting for failure, it is now on enjoying my success. That is awesome! :)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Day 4

Today was a great day. Scott and I did the 5k Race for the Cure, and then we relaxed before heading out to the movies. I was a bit apprehensive about going to the movie theater. I love buttered popcorn, and Scott and I usually share a huge bucket and each get a soda. Needless to say, the buttered popcorn is not exactly on my plan. LOL Rather than risk being tempted empty handed, I prepared a zip loc bag of grapes to take with me and I also drank a huge glass of ice water.

When we got to the theater my mouth was watering over the delicious smell of the popcorn. I stood in line with Scott as he got a popcorn and Mr. Pibb and I ordered my Diet Coke. As we walked away from the concession stand I was already trying to rationalize how just a few bites couldn't hurt that much. We sat down and I realized that if I even took one handful of that delicious buttery goodness I would not be able to stop. I would most likely consume half the tub of popcorn if I took even a single pop.... So, I opened up my grapes, took a few gulps of my soda and began snacking on my healthy alternative.

By the time I finished my grapes my craving for popcorn was gone! Amy-1 :: Evil Popcorn-0!

Every day this new lifestyle gets easier in some ways and harder in others. I'm not typically a rebellious person by nature, but there are moments in every day (and yes, it's only day 4) where I just want to throw myself on the floor and pound my feet and fists until I get what I want -- food, sugar, etc.

This is the 4th day I have not had sugar. But the real miracle is, I'm not craving it too badly. I think the fruit is helping with that. I really just want to eat, eat, and eat some more. I am still trying to figure out why that is. Why can't I just eat what is an acceptable amount of food? Why do I want to have bread, and salad, and crackers, and peanut butter, and on and on? Why do I not ever feel satisfied?

In my mind I know that I am consuming more than enough calories to sustain my body. I am not starving myself, and am in fact eating foods that should technically make me feel fuller than the crap I used to eat. And yet, I still feel hungry...

I will not let this get the better of me though. So far I have not strayed... but I know that day will come, and probably soon. Right now I'm just trying to make it one day at a time... one hour at a time...

We Did It!!!

Scott and I walked the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k this morning -- and we did not finish last! LOL That was my goal. :) I'm a little sore, and my feet hurt a little, but overall I actually feel great! I also have an amazing sense of accomplishment. I was able to walk 3.1 miles without feeling like I was going to die. My goal for next years race is to do the same one - the fun run/walk - but jog it rather than walk. :)

It was incredible to see all of the survivors. So many women, and their families, were running in celebration of surviving breast cancer. It was also heartbreaking to see all of the placards in memory of those who lost the battle and died from breast cancer. I got a little emotional as we passed all the yard signs honoring those brave women.

Scott's dear friend Dee Dee survived breast cancer, but is still battling cancer as it spread. She was only given a few months to live. We walked with a placard on our backs with her name on it celebrating her survival! It made the walk that much more memorable for both of us. Hi co-worker Patricia is also a survivor, as well as a friend of my family, Doris. It's incredible to see how many people this effects.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Day 3 -- Surviving the Weekend

After a tough day yesterday I was worried about all the free time I would have today. But, I did it! I made it through a day in which I spent the majority of the day at home, on my own. With free reign of the kitchen and pantry I was not even tempted to cheat once. I know that this is great, but I also am not naive enough to think that next week or the week after, or the month after, or even tomorrow will be as easy. What I do know, is that I made it through today and I am going to rejoice in that success. :)

Tomorrow is the Race for the Cure 5k walk. Scott and I are walking it together and I am so excited! :) Good night all! More updates to come.

Here we go!

Today is a true test of this new journey I am on. I'm off today and spending most of the day at home. While there is no sugar or "evil" foods in my house, there will be that temptation to graze as I USED to do. :)

I feel stronger today than I did yesterday though, and I think it's because I'm not as tired as I was yesterday. It's hard to be strong when you're exhausted! :) I'm also excited about tomorrow because I'll be walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K Fun Run/Walk. I've done a 5K before, but I'm obviously in worse shape now than I was then. What an accomplishment it will be though! :)

I'm just finishing up breakfast because I slept until 10am... So I'll have to figure out the timing for snacks and lunch and dinner, but hey, I'm up for it! :) Happy Saturday everyone!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Day 2

So, today was a little rougher for me. I know, day 2 and I'm already struggling? But it was a good struggle, if that makes sense. I love to eat, especially when I'm stressed. And lately there have been some super stressful events in my life.

To top it off, those darn Godiva cookies sat out within walking distance ALL DAY. The best part of today was that I proved I could do it. I did not give in to temptation. I reminded myself why I am doing this. I talked to Nancy, and realized I'm not alone! We all face these temptations every day; sometimes several times a day. Some days we will stare those cookies down and be triumphant. Other days, we may indulge.

What I am trying to remind myself of is the fact that I am not perfect. I am fearfully and wonderfully made to be just who God created me to be. But until I reach Heaven and get be with my Jesus, I will face struggles and temptations, wins and losses, good days and bad.

With Christ all things are possible. Not just some, but ALL. I can do this. Even when I feel like I can't, I just have to rely on Him and I'll make it through.

Death by Chocolate

Oh my gosh... I'm at work, just finishing up my morning snack and I walk across the room to find Godiva cookies! UGH!! LOL They are so delicious and the chocolate oh so good (as I well know from past experience)...

But, I will be strong, and enjoy my banana and 12 almonds, knowing that by skipping the chocolate I am one step closer to my goal -- being a mommy. :)

I will overcome this!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Day 1

Today marks Day 1 of my journey to lose weight and get my health back. Getting to meet Dr. Oz was beyond incredible. He is so encouraging, so down to earth, and just sweet as can be! The best part of bein on the show was getting to meet Nancy Schuessler, my inspiration for all of this. She is amazing!! I know that with her and Dr. Oz by my side I can be succesful. I can do this!

I walked for 30 minutes tonight with my little pomeranian-chihuahua Maggie. It was harder than I thought it would be. In fact, I wanted to give up after 15 minutes. But, I pressed on. And even though I was achy afterward, it felt so good! I did it! I pushed on, I didn't give up, and I succeeded.

Having a Coach is amazing. I am not alone in this. Nancy is so encouraging, and she just gets it. She has been there. She knows what I'm feeling before I can come up with the words to describe it. She is a soul sister, and I cherish and love her already. :)

This is going to be a rough, long, challenging journey. I won a few battles today, but the war rages on. But what is different this time, is that I feel such a peace. I know that it's going to be hard. This is most likely the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. But that will only make the victory of overcoming food that much sweeter.

I'm learning so much, even in this short time, that it is a bit overwhelming. I'm jotting down notes and journaling, trying to keep everything straight. I know my biggest battle will be giving myself grace when I need it, and not giving up when I slip up.

I'm in this for the long haul, and I feel as thought I finally have all of the support and tools I need to be successful. A huge thank you to Dr. Oz and his staff for everything they have done. And to Nancy Schuessler, my beautiful, inspiring, amazing Coach and sister along this journey, I am forever grateful and indebted to you for literally saving my life.

More to come... :)