Roller Coaster Tears

Growing up in Orlando you get to go to a lot of theme parks. I've always loved the parks, and especially roller coasters. I have never not ridden a coaster due to fear! I have been afraid, but I always got on... Until a few years ago when a different fear came into play.

As most of you know I've always been heavy. Over the years I just got heavier and heavier to the point that I could no longer do one of my favorite things because I could not fit in the seat. I remember it vividly... At first I would have to be moved to the "larger" seats in the middle of the coaster which often meant being pulled to the side by the attendant and waiting for the next go round. Then, it got to the point where it didn't matter where I sat, I just simply didn't fit.

It was humiliating. I finally just started making excuses for why I wasn't going to ride. I'm sure my family could see through the excuses, but they never pushed me. It was so disheartening to know that I couldn't join friends and family in something I absolutely loved to do. But it was way more embarrassing to tell them why, and so I just said they made me sick and I'd sit out and wait for them.

On Saturday, Scott and I took our niece Ally to Sea World to spend the day with some friends. One of the last rides I attempted was Kraken at Sea World, but of course, I didn't fit. This time I was determined to at least try. I mean, come on! I've lost 65 pounds and 13 inches in my waist! I just knew I had to fit.

Manta is a new ride at Sea World, and I was so hopeful I'd be able to ride it. I got in line, and waited my turn with knots in my stomach. My turn finally came, and not only did I fit, I got the bar to click down TWICE comfortably!!! I was smiling like an idiot! LOL It was so much fun!! By the end of the ride I was fighting back tears. It had been so long since I'd experienced the thrill and rush of a coaster. It was such an accomplishment! :)

My next feat was Kraken. I just had to try it again. I sat in the test seat in front of the ride and was able to latch the harness! It was snug, but hey, it fit. So, I got in line, sat down, and the belt wouldn't reach! :( I was so mortified... I kept trying but just couldn't get it to latch. The attendant came over to help and finally he was able to latch the belt! I couldn't believe it! I was finally going to ride Kraken for the first time!!!!! It was so exhilarating! I cannot wait to go back! :)

I don't think I have fully comprehended everything I've allowed my weight to take from me. But I plan on taking all of them back and then some!!! :)

I did it!!!!!

I am officially under 300 pounds!! Not by much, but I'm there! Never again will my weight begin with 3 and soon enough it will no longer begin with 2 either! Next milestone, the 100 pound mark! I'm down 65 already so only another 35 to go! :)

I tried something new!

This morning I woke up at the crack of dawn to go the gym with my husband. Of course I love my elliptical, it is amazing!!! But I also want to develop more muscle tone in the hopes of lessening the amount of excess skin I will have when I reach my goal weight. :)

So, I did a little cardio to warm up by using the stationary bike. I did 7.5 miles in 20 minutes! I then moved on to the weight machines and focused on my arms. I did 3 sets of 10-15 reps on about 5 machines. Then I moved to the area that I have always been afraid to go into because I've been too self-conscious... the floor area with mats and ab machines and the dreaded leg lift contraption! LOL I tried one of the ab things and couldn't figure it out. No biggie... Then I tried to do some leg lifts. You know the thing I'm talking about. You step up onto the base, grasp the handles while your lower arms rest on the arm rests. Then you're supposed to step off the base and begin raising your legs together using your abs. Yeah, I tried it. I got two in before I almost fell off because I couldn't keep my body up using my arms.

BUT that's ok!! I did it. I tried something new. No one laughed at me, no one stared or pointed. No one even noticed really. More than that, I felt no shame. I did my best and that was ok. Next time I'll try again and maybe I'll be able to do 3 or 4.

This is a new feeling for me. I had one brief moment of hesitation because I was in the eye line of another woman working out, but I didn't let that stop me. And I wasn't embarrassed. To me, that's more of an accomplishment than anything! I didn't let my weight hold me back. I didn't let fear or insecurity keep me from doing something I wanted to do. To me, this is proof of transformation in progress. :)

I'm so looking forward to trying things I haven't been able to do because I've been too heavy: flying without needing a seat belt extender, fitting on the roller coasters at Universal Studios, not being afraid to sit in a booth at a restaurant (I'm already finding this to be easier!)... and more...

I think I always knew I was letting my weight hold me back from so many things, not just physically but mentally and emotionally too. I just didn't realize how much so until recently. I don't want to let another day go by where I allow my weight to hold me back because I am more than what I weigh. I am not defined by my weight or size.

Saying goodbye...

To the 300's! :)

This weigh in I was 301.2 pounds which is a total of 63 pounds in less than 5 months. I am down to 48.5 inches in my waist which is a total of 13 inches lost! Next weigh in I'll be under 300 and I'm not looking back! :)

Nancy has been giving me menu's the past the two weeks and it's really been working for me. I don't have to think about what I'm going to eat because it's basically all automated. I'm telling you, automation really is key to my success. I thought for sure it would be boring and I would feel restricted, but it's actually the opposite. I feel confident in knowing that what I'm eating is going to satiate me and also is nutritionally sound.

I have been having a lot of cravings the last couple of days. I just want to eat! I'm not hungry, I just want to munch. I'm thinking this is because I'm getting ready to start my cycle soon. It's becoming more and more regular, and it truly is a "cycle" because I'm finding that there is a true pattern to my mood, cravings, and even my weight. Sorry if this is TMI but if I can announce to the nation that I've gotten my period, I feel like I can talk about it here! :)

I recently walk/jogged another 5K and had a really good time. I'm not sure if I want to do the half marathon next year, or just set a good goal time for the 5K... We'll see. :) My next goal is to jog the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K. I want to jog the whole thing and I'm pretty confident I can do it. I have until October to train, and in April I'm joining some friends in doing the 9 week Couch to 5K training. Should be fun!

A lot of people are asking me how I started running. I really didn't think I'd be able to, and I was really self-conscious of anyone seeing me try. So, I was doing my 30 minute walk one day and decided to just give it a try. That first time I could only jog a few yards, and I thought I was going to die. LOL But, I kept trying. I then started training using a treadmill and was able to jog for 2 minutes at a time. I still hated anyone seeing me, so if anyone else was in the gym I hated it! But, I wanted to do it, so I kept trying.

I personally prefer jogging outdoors as opposed to the treadmill just because I don't like feeling like I'm going to lose my balance, and I also like having visual markers as opposed to time markers for starting and stopping. But that's just me. Now I'm able to jog a lot further and it takes a lot less time to recover in between spurts.

Hope this helps! Talk to you all soon! :)

Pictures!

Here are some pictures over the last few months as well as an updated progression picture. :) Weigh in is tomorrow and I'm really hoping I get below 300 even if it's 299.9! LOL But, if it's not tomorrow it will definitely be next week! Feeling good, getting in tons of exercise, and trying fun new recipes.

3/9/10

2/14/10

3/6/10 Royal Family 5K

3/6/10 Royal Family 5K

It's been WAY too long! :)

I can't believe I haven't posted for so long. So much has happened, but I am going to be much more consistent about blogging because I realize just how important it is to my success! :)

Since my last post I have hit the 59lb mark and have just over 5 pounds to lose before I say goodbye to the 300's forever!! I'm so close I can taste it, and I know once I hit the 200's there will be no turning back.

In the past three weeks I have moved, lost my job, and done another 5K. Moving was extremely difficult and wearing (both physically and emotionally). Losing my job was a blessing in disguise. I needed a change, and while I was hoping to just transfer to another position, being let go was probably the best thing to have happened. I'm focusing on me, my marriage, my home, and really taking time to discover what my passions are and what I want to do with my life. Unfortunately, self reflection doesn't pay well, but I am getting unemployment and searching for work. Just trusting God to get us through it! :)

Finishing my second 5K in 3 months was great. My good friend Lisa and I jog/walked the Royal Family Princess & the Frog 5K at Epcot. And despite several stops for pictures with Princesses we finished the race in just under 1 hour and 12 minutes. All in all a fairly good pace I think!

Also, since my last post the elliptical arrived!!!! I absolutely LOVE it!! It has been an amazing tool in my weightloss journey, and I am so blessed to have gotten it. It's so cool! LOL I am getting in some really incredible cardio workouts as well as toning my arms and legs with all of it's neat features. It is HUMUNGOUS!! LOL It's as long as our queen bed but only about 2 feet wide so it fits perfectly in our bedroom. :)

My newest potential undertaking is forming a group here in central Florida for women to get together support each other in healthy living. I envision us jog/walking for 30 minutes, then discussing our weeks, and also going through Dr. Oz's book YOU: On a Diet. Having Nancy as a Coach has been an integral part of my success. I know that having other women going through this with me that I can support and hold accountable and who can support me and keep me accountable would be awesome! So I ask that you all be praying that if this should get off the ground that it would be positive and motivating and life changing for all of us involved. :)