Some recipes

Some of you have been asking what I eat and what recipes I enjoy. Most of my meals are courtesy of recipes I've gotten from Nancy. I'll post some more later, but here what is a typical day looks like:

Breakfast (Automated): Egg White Wrap w/ 1/2 Banana (199 calories)

1. 3 egg whites
2. 1 clove minced garlic
3. 1 green onion chopped
4. 1/2 cup spinach or shredded zucchini
5. 1/4 sweet onion diced
6. handful sliced mushrooms
7. red pepper flakes (depends on how spicy you can take it, but I use about 1 teaspoon or so)
8. salt & pepper to taste

Snack: 12 almonds w/ 1 banana (188 calories total) or 1 apple (160 calories total)

Lunch (Automated): Homemade Lentil Soup (300 calories)
 (I'll post the recipe soon!! Don't have it handy at the moment.)

Snack: High Fiber Cereal (120-150 calories depending on the cereal)
You can use Kashi or Fiber One. Both have a great supply of fiber and protein and are phenomenal hunger fighters! :) I pre-package mine in plastic baggies, 1 cup each. Just grab a baggie and go!

Dinner: Varies! Always around 300-400 calories though...
Option 1: Apple Chicken with Spinach (makes 1 serving -- my own concoction!) (approx 321 calories)

1. 1 svg (approx 3 oz) of lean chicken breast, cubed (I like to use the pre-cooked, no preservatives added frozen chicken, but you can use whatever chicken you have handy)
2. 1/2 small apple finely chopped (I usually snack on the other half while I cook)
3. 1 cup frozen (or fresh) spinach (when using frozen I add about 1/3 cup water as well)
4. 1/2 raw onion
5. 1-2 cloves minced garlic
6. Red pepper flakes, salt & pepper to taste
7. about 1-2 teaspoons of Mrs. Dash Mediterranean Seasoning
8. 1/2 Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

• pour olive oil into sautee pan on medium high heat
• add all ingredients to pan
• toss frequently, sautee for approximately 15-20 minutes (if chicken is pre-cooked) or until chicken is completely cooked through
• pour into a bowl and enjoy!

Option 2: Chicken with Acorn Squash (serves 2, super easy!!, approx 150-170 calories, add )

1. Pierce acorn squash with fork several times, place on microwave safe dish, and microwave on high for approximately 8-10 minutes (varies by size of squash and wattage of microwave)
2. While squash is in microwave, spray pan with Olive Oil spray, sautee 2 svgs (or about 6 oz) of chicken breast with 1/2 diced onion, 1-2 cloves garlic, seasoned to taste (you can use chicken cutlets, diced/cubed chicken, etc)
3. When acorn squash is soft and ready, cut in half, spoon each half onto it's own plate and add a little sprinkle of salt
4. When chicken is thoroughly cooked, spoon onto the squash plates and enjoy!

Option 3: Boca Burger w/ Baked Potato (serves 1, approx 480 calories, also good as a lunch option!)

1. pierce potato and microwave until done
2. spray sautee pan with olive oil spray, add boca burger, sliced onion, red pepper flakes, a sprinke of garlic salt, flip burger after 5 minutes, then plate
3. once potato is done, microwave 1 cup frozen broccoli florets with 1T water for approx 5-8 minutes; while broccoli is cooking, dice or slice potato and add to plate
4. to avoid sour cream and add protein I use 1/2 cup cottage cheese over my potato, add a little salt and pepper to taste
5. add broccoli to plate and you're good to go!

I'll have some more recipes posted later, but this is basically what I eat. LOL I thought for sure I'd get bored... but I love it! Having the automation is a lifesaver! I have tried many new recipes over the last several weeks, and I'll post those as soon as I can.

You can also check out Nancy's blog for some super yummy recipes! http://www.doctoroz.com/expert/nancy-schuessler

Made it through the Holidays!

Well, I made it through the holidays without any major issues. :) I was able to enjoy the time with my family over the entire Christmas week without losing sight of my goal. I brought my own food to enjoy during dinner at Olive Garden with my parents and siblings, hubby, and niece. I also brought my own dinner when we went to my Aunt's house and avoided the cheesy lasagna and cheesy bread AND homemade fudge. :) On Christmas day I actually got to enjoy the same meal as everyone else because we had turkey, sweet potatos, and green beans available.

I'm still doing my hour of exercise every day. Scott and I bought bicycles with some Christmas money we got and biked 5 miles the other day! My behind is still a little sore LOL but I had so much fun biking! :) I'm looking forward to doing the 5K on January 9th. I missed the deadlines for the Disney race, and also for the Princess Half Marathon this spring, but I'm looking for an alternative. For my 5K on the 9th I'm just looking for a school track I can use. I'm inviting all my family and friends to come cheer me on! :) If you want to come out and cheer me on my run/walk you're more than welcome! I'll let you know where and what time as soon as I have that figured out. LOL

I'm feeling a little anxious about my 5K though because the running part is still so hard for me. I have finally gotten up to jogging for 2 minutes straight at one time, but after that I can only do spurts of 45-60 seconds throughout the remainder of my workout. I'm hoping that over the next couple weeks it increases though. But like Nancy reminded me this morning, it's not about how long it takes me, or whether I run or walk the whole thing. The important thing is that I finish! And I know I will. :)

It's been a while, and tons is going on!! :)

I have been meaning to write for a few days now, but keep putting it off so I can focus on what I'm writing. Well, a lot has happened in the last week or so! My goals have been amped up dramatically all in anticipation of going back on the Dr. Oz show for a follow up episode!!!!!

I got word last week that they'll be bringing me back to NYC to tape an update segment the middle of January. I'm guessing it will air sometime in early February or so. As of Thursday of last week I have lost 34 pounds and 7 inches in my waist. My goal in this 4 weeks leading up to the taping is to lose another 16 pounds, and at least 3 more inches in my waist for a total of 50 pounds and 10 inches lost in 12 weeks!

To accomplish this Nancy and I are ramping up my routine. We have re-structured my calorie intake to allow my body to work more efficiently. I'm also working out for an hour every day (and I mean EVERY day). This is in preparation for my 5K (as well as my half-marathon in the spring) in addition to burning as much fat as possible to help in my weight loss.

While the workouts have been quite taxing (I firmly believe 1hour is way more than 2.5 times harder than 30 minutes lol) the hardest part has not been indulging in any nibbles here or there of all the Christmas goodies laying around.

But, I have such motivation on my side because Nancy is taking this challenge with me! She is not indulging in any sweets or extra nibbles all the way up to the taping. And, she is also doing 1 hour workouts EVERY day. Talk about support! She is amazing! She doesn't want to ask me to do anything she would not do, and so, she is doing all of this with me! It really does help when the temptation creeps up to stop at 45 minutes... or just "taste" that cookie or that piece of this or that.

So pray for me my friends! :) I'm going to need it! I really want to achieve my goal, and while I know it is lofty, I firmly believe it is attainable!

Lost 4 pounds this week!!!

Today's weigh in showed a 4lb loss!! Woohoo!!! Overall I have lost 34 pounds, 7 inches in my waist, about 4 inches in my hips, and about 3 inches in my chest!!! I am so excited and almost to my 10% goal. My next milestone will be to reach 50 pounds lost! :) Almost there!!

Weigh in tomorrow!

I'm looking forward to weighing in tomorrow, even though I still have that little seed of apprehension. :) My body has been changing so much, not only in size and measurement, but also internally. It's very excited to "see" those changes that are invisible to the naked eye in addition to the obvious changes of losing pounds and inches.

When I first watched myself on the show about a month ago I cried. Not tears of joy, but of sadness and shame. I was so embarrassed by how I looked. About a week ago I watched the show again with my dad (he hadn't seen it yet) and I could see such a difference in myself from then to now. It was actually encouraging to watch it! Not only could I see the difference in my face and body, but I see a difference in my spirit.

I had allowed my weight to defeat me and keep me down. My heart was so burdened by self-loathing and self-hatred that I had lost sight of who I really was. I am daughter of the most high God. I was knit together in my mothers womb, fearfully and wonderfully made. No matter my weight, no matter my circumstances I am lovely and chosen and beautiful. Yes, beautiful.

What saddened me while watching the show a second time was not the fact that I let myself get so big, but that I let myself lose sight of my worth. It was a viscous cycle of eating, guilt, eating, guilt that only got me fatter and sadder.

I don't want to go back there again! I feel so much more alive! I have bad days still and life happens like it always did, but the hope that I had lost is back! I have a joy that I never knew before, even in my "thinner" days. I am doing this, and I am succeeding, and I am worth every bit of it! Whether I slip up and eat a piece of chocolate, or an extra bowl of rice is not what is important. The journey is what is important. The learning that comes from those slip ups is what matters.

And I've been learning so much about food and what it does to your body and how your body uses it and stores it that I've found myself being turned off by some my most favorite foods. I knew trans fat was bad, but oh my goodness! It's disgusting! And sugar is basically only in your system for a short while, but the after effects are very long lasting. So it's been interesting, and I'm looking forward to many more interesting and exciting days ahead full of learning and knowledge. Because knowledge really and truly is power.

Progress Pictures!!

Some of you have been asking for pictures of my progress along the way. I put together a pic of where I started, at 4 weeks, and at 8 weeks. It's weird because I don't see weight loss in the mirror, but I feel it in my clothes (especially those clothes that had been too small and now are loose!) and looking at this collage I was shocked! I can see the difference and that is so cool. :)

Down about 27 pounds in the pic above

with my hubby taking Christmas pics :)

8 Weeks In!!!

I cannot believe it's been 8 weeks! Time has flown by, and the results are speaking for themselves. In 8 weeks I've lost a total of 30 pounds (down 3.4 lbs this week!) and an amazing 7" in my waist! I'm still working on being intentional in my journey. It's funny to think that eating this way has become "old hat" so to speak, but it's actually becoming second nature to avoid sweets and refined carbs and pick up fruits, veggies and whole grains. I've tried some new foods like spaghetti squash, jicama, flat out, great northern beans and more. It's been quite an adventure! :)

I'm very excited about my goal of running a 5K on January 9 or 10. It's not a formal 5K, just my very own with some family and perhaps some friends there to cheer me on. Friends and family are going to be paying me to run this race! LOL Nancy gave me the best idea (and a great motivator!) for my run, ask my family to pay $5 each for this run. So far I have gotten about $50 pledged toward my run. :) I'm hoping to get up to $100 so that I can buy a couple pair of pants and a couple tops for my new body (my clothes are already loose, and I know that by the 2nd weekend in January they'll be hanging off of me)! I'll be shopping the clearance racks because obviously I don't plan on being in that size for very long either! LOL

Having a goal is quite inspiring. I've downloaded some podcasts for my 5K training which I've really enjoyed. They are called Motion Trax by Deekron. I'm not able to keep pace with most of them YET but I know I will be soon enough. The upbeat tempo is great though, and even though I'm slower than the beat it is a great accompaniment to my walk/runs.

A lot is going on in my life right now and with Christmas around the corner I'm trying to stay on guard and avoid temptations and emotional eating. I'm focusing on staying positive, and doing what I know I need to do to succeed. My body is responding to all of these changes amazingly well and I am so excited that every day I am one step closer to realizing my dream of being a mommy. :)

Day 47

I ran for a full 60 seconds today!!!! I'm so proud of myself. I've been trying to work up to 60 seconds for about a week and a half now. LOL I knew running would not be easy, but my goodness! Even having walked 30 minutes every day since the show aired I am finding it tough to progress to jogging. But I'll get there!

I wanted to talk a little bit tonight about my struggle with infertility... I have not shared much about this with many people, and even the ones I do share it with usually get an abbreviated version. Yesterday was a tough day for me. The pain and sorrow of not being able to get pregnant is always with me, but some days are much easier than others. Since the show I have been joyful with the new found hope I have in knowing that my weight will no longer be what is preventing me from being a mommy.

The holidays are incredibly difficult when you long for a child of your own. Christmas is such a child-like holiday with all of the arts and crafts, caroling, and anticipation of Santa. :) The last few days I have felt that familiar twinge of sadness in knowing that Scott and I would be celebrating yet another Christmas without a child of our own. Everywhere we go there are reminders that our arms are empty...

We were watching "My Sisters Keeper" yesterday and it just hit me. I want to be a mother! I want to create a little one with a piece of me and a piece of Scott. I want to laugh and cry and worry and celebrate and make traditions and do all of those things you do when you have kids. I have begged God to take away this desire if it was not meant to be because I just cannot give it up... I know I was created to be someone's mommy. And my heart is breaking with the pain of not being able to live that purpose... You would think watching a movie about a family going through the unimaginable pain of having a terminally ill child would make me think twice about having a child. LOL But it didn't have that effect on me...

Saturday night Scott and I were watching my beautiful niece Ally and she was just too precious. She was clinging to Scott, sharing dinner with him, playing with him, watching Spongebob with him and just enjoying her fun time with Uncle Scotty. :) Seeing my husband with her was incredible. He was having such a good time teasing her, and playing with her, making her laugh, and cuddling with her. He is going to be such a good Daddy... I want so badly to give him a child of his own to do those things with...

I know that there are so many couples who know exactly what my husband and I are going through, but it is a lonely, painful, and even shameful, experience. I want to break the stigma attached to infertility. I am not ashamed of this experience! It has brought my husband and I closer together. It has allowed God to reveal Himself to me in so many ways. My prayer is that when I am at a healthy weight I will be able to conceive a child, experience pregnancy, give birth, and realize my dream come true... I know that God may have other plans, but I am doing my part by getting healthy--both physically and mentally--and I am trusting Him to do His part. I think that is the hardest part...

Necklace Info

Someone asked how they could get the necklace Nancy gave me, but it was an anonymous post so I can't reply directly... anyway, you can go to http://forgetmenotsjewelry.com/ and contact the woman who makes the necklaces. She can create one for you like mine and Nancy's or you can choose many different styles. Her work is beautiful! :)

Days 42-45

Well, I survived my rough patch and while I stayed the same this past weigh in, I came out the other side a little wiser and lot more motivated.

Going through sever PMS for the first time in a long time (due to irregular cycles) was kind of odd. I felt so discouraged and moody, and just plain down. I still did what I was supposed to do -- I ate the good foods, avoided the bad foods, and basically just went through the motions... All week I felt so bloated it was rediculous! I just knew I was going to see a weight gain, and that was making me feel even more discouraged!

Wednesday night (the night before weigh in) I decided to sneak a peek and step on the scale. This was a bad idea for several reasons... First, it was the evening and obviously a different time of day than I usually weigh. Second, I weighed with clothes on, and also usually use the restroom prior to weighing (sorry if TMI!! LOL)... Third, it's just really not a good idea to sneak a peek when you have NO time to do anything to change the number (and I weighed in 7 pounds higher Wednesday night, and basically the saw no change in the number from the previous week on Thursday morning...) I am a glutton for punishment I guess! LOL

The biggest thing I learned though is that it is not enough to just go through the motions. I cannot get complacent and just go with the flow when it comes to my weight loss and health gain. I have to be intentional in my efforts. I have to make every day count, every meal, every workout has to push me closer to my goal.

Another thing I learned is that I'm going to have some crappy days. Days where I just feel down. Nothing has to happen, no tragedy or drama has to take place. Just regular old bad days like everyone else. Only, I never used to let anyone know I had those days... I was always the happy one, always the one lifting every one else's spirits... And rather than talk about my feelings I ate them, good or bad.

I have to allow myself to be human, to be imperfect. I used to feel worthless, and like a failure (and I still struggle with that). But I never used to let anyone know I felt that way... I had to appear to be perfect and unfallible and strong and, well, super human I guess. How conceited is that! Oh my goodness... I was so deceived... But I know that acknowledging it is powerful and empowering. :)

In six weeks I'm going to be running a 5K. Yes, running. :) That is my goal. I've started training and am looking forward to accomplishing that goal and moving onto my next goal of finishing a half marathon in the spring. I know that getting into the physical condition required to run 13.2 miles is just not possible in 4-6 months, but, I will definitely be capable of FINISHING 13.2 miles by jogging and walking.

Pray for me as I train because believe me, I'm pushing myself harder than I ever have before!

Day 41... it's ok to be down

The last few days have been a little rough for me emotionally. I think it has a little to do with hormones, a lot to do with a few sleepless nights, and a little everyday life thrown in the mix. :)

I always hold myself to a higher standard than anyone else... and lately that has certainly been the case. I have overindulged in dinner the past two nights. I woke up this morning feeling fat and bloated. I talked to Nancy and realized that part of my bloated feeling is probably due to all the lentils and the chili I've had the last few nights. LOL

Something else I realized today, thanks to Nancy, is that it is ok to feel down. It's ok to be human. I'm not going to feel fabulous every single day, and that's ok. This is a hard road, and a very long journey. It took a while, but I think the honeymoon phase is over. :)

While it may be ok to feel a bit down at times, it's NOT ok to beat myself up OR to wallow in sadness. I had forgotten to take captive every negative thought, turn it over to my Heavenly Father, and then replace it with a positive thought. Nancy reminded me to laugh, and enjoy my day, and stay positive. I think I got so caught up in everything else that I forgot all of that!

So, yes, today I was not feeling it (or yesterday...), but it's ok. I'll get through it, especially with the love, prayers, and support from Nancy, and all of my friends and family. :)