Hi, my name is Amy and I'm addicted to food.
Jesus tells us the truth will set us free, and I've been seeing that to be true in many ways along this weight loss journey. Lies, deceipt, and even ommissions will only get in the way of success. When I am open, honest, and acknowledge my weaknesses only then am able to let it go, seek the help I need, and move to healthier place.
I am addicted to food. I turn to food when I'm happy, sad, celebrating, mourning, bored, busy, etc etc etc. No matter the circumstances or situation my mind is constantly focused on food. When is my next meal/snack, what is it going to be, will there be food left in the breakroom, do I have what I want at home/work... It is all consuming and in a weird way comforting. I love food. I could eat all day from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. I could eat sweets, chips, crackers, cereal, sandwiches, vegetables, fruits, salads, ANYTHING at any time. The weird thing is, I don't want all of this food because I'm hungry. When I'm physically hungry (and not just thirsty or bored) I actually do not feel like eating at times.
Nancy gave me a challenge of sorts in which every day the first thing I need to do is say to myself, my name is Amy and I am a food addict. Then, I am to give it over to God and ask Him to fill me and satiate my hunger, to take away the desire and physical "need" to eat to excess.
Today is the first day I've done this, and I have to say it does make me stop and think about why I want to eat. I had a filling, yummy breakfast and lunch. I treated myself to a square of dark chocolate. And I'm satisfied. I found myself craving something crunchy and salty. I sat there, thinking about this, and said to myself, I'm not hungry, I'm just wanting to eat. Lord, please take away this desire to binge.
And you know what, I was able to focus on something else and will now make it to my appointed snack time without having indulged in something that would have made me feel guilty later.
God is good, and He is seeing me through this one moment at a time.
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