I realized a few days ago that I had the mindset that this was going to get easier. That somehow it would just be my nature and I would "get it"... Because of this attitude I've found myself sabotaging my progress and letting my guard down. Rather than being intentional and vigilant, I've been lackadaisical and oblivious...
If I had kept up a 3 pound a week weight loss from my last Dr. Oz appearance I would be at 238 pounds right now. Even a 2 pound a week weight loss would have been 264 pounds which would be 100 pounds lost. Right now I'm about 30 pounds heavier than that.
Don't get me wrong, I know that losing 70 pounds in 7 months is pretty darn good. And I'm celebrating all of my success, and all that I have learned along the way.
I cannot allow myself to stand in my own way anymore. I need to FOCUS. I need to be INTENTIONAL. I have to be VIGILANT.
And I have to be all of those things for the rest of my life. Getting to goal weight does not mean the war is over. I think it will have just begun. It's STAYING at goal weight that is the true success. And I can and will get there.
Nancy gave me a great quote that I've been reflecting on a lot lately...
"Don't lose sight of what you want the most for what you want in moment."
And that's just how it is with food. I want something so much in the moment. And when I gratify that desire, I then have the guilt and regret that follow for a lot longer than a moment! I need to learn how to tell myself no for my own benefit. For my own growth and development I have to learn patience and not give in to the automatic instant gratification mode I've lived in for 30+ years...
It's interesting... like a parent who tells their child "no" because they know better, I tend to be the strong willed, rebellious "child", but need to learn how to be the wiser, self-sacrificing "parent" who know what is better for myself and to say no when I need to.
I'm Not Sure I Can Do This
2 days ago