Day 4

Today was a great day. Scott and I did the 5k Race for the Cure, and then we relaxed before heading out to the movies. I was a bit apprehensive about going to the movie theater. I love buttered popcorn, and Scott and I usually share a huge bucket and each get a soda. Needless to say, the buttered popcorn is not exactly on my plan. LOL Rather than risk being tempted empty handed, I prepared a zip loc bag of grapes to take with me and I also drank a huge glass of ice water.

When we got to the theater my mouth was watering over the delicious smell of the popcorn. I stood in line with Scott as he got a popcorn and Mr. Pibb and I ordered my Diet Coke. As we walked away from the concession stand I was already trying to rationalize how just a few bites couldn't hurt that much. We sat down and I realized that if I even took one handful of that delicious buttery goodness I would not be able to stop. I would most likely consume half the tub of popcorn if I took even a single pop.... So, I opened up my grapes, took a few gulps of my soda and began snacking on my healthy alternative.

By the time I finished my grapes my craving for popcorn was gone! Amy-1 :: Evil Popcorn-0!

Every day this new lifestyle gets easier in some ways and harder in others. I'm not typically a rebellious person by nature, but there are moments in every day (and yes, it's only day 4) where I just want to throw myself on the floor and pound my feet and fists until I get what I want -- food, sugar, etc.

This is the 4th day I have not had sugar. But the real miracle is, I'm not craving it too badly. I think the fruit is helping with that. I really just want to eat, eat, and eat some more. I am still trying to figure out why that is. Why can't I just eat what is an acceptable amount of food? Why do I want to have bread, and salad, and crackers, and peanut butter, and on and on? Why do I not ever feel satisfied?

In my mind I know that I am consuming more than enough calories to sustain my body. I am not starving myself, and am in fact eating foods that should technically make me feel fuller than the crap I used to eat. And yet, I still feel hungry...

I will not let this get the better of me though. So far I have not strayed... but I know that day will come, and probably soon. Right now I'm just trying to make it one day at a time... one hour at a time...