Day 12 - We have a date!

We got a date! My segment on the Dr. Oz show are supposed to air on Friday, November, 13!! Of course, this is subject to change, and if it does I'll be sure to update everyone! :)

Today went well. I'm finding that my hunger is a lot less as the days go on. I'm enjoying the foods that I'm eating, and I'm noticing some very positive changes in my body as it works to balance out and return to normal after so many years of abuse with over eating and bad food choices.

Nancy and I were talking this evening about why I eat and what triggers me to want to eat. I think a huge part of my problem is my self-esteem. I'm a people pleaser. I want to do everything I can to make sure that there is no conflict and that everyone is happy. What I'm realizing is, that can be a lot of work! So, because i can't really control if someone else is happy or not, I took control where I could. I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted and no one could tell me differently. Just try, and I would eat that much more. So in trying to take control, I became out of control.

I lost all control over food and let it rule my life. Every waking moment was spent thinking about my next meal or snack or dessert. What sounded good? What would satiate me? What I have realized is, it never worked. I'd always have a craving for something, and would eat just about anything I could get my hands on, but I never felt full. I never felt satisfied.

Something I have learned in these last 12 days is I am not in control, God is. Going on the Dr. Oz show was in essence giving over the reigns and saying, "My way isn't working. I'm miserable, and unhealthy, and I'm watching my dream of being a mommy slip further away with every single bite."

Instead of relying on myself to make this plan work, I am relying on my family, friends and my Heavenly Father to get me through. There are so many people praying for me (most of whom I've never met) to succeed that I know I will not fail. It's not me, it's God. He is providing me the strength and support to give up this addiction and gain life.

I know that everyone says this, but I'm telling you the truth. If I can make this change and get on this plan and feel success is not only possible, but is actually going to happen, then anyone can. You just have to give it to Him and take that first scary step. When I got in the car to head to the airport after meeting Nancy and Dr. Oz I was scared out of my mind! All I could think about were all of the failed diets in my past. But every day is a new day. Every day I wake up and make the choice to keep going. And I'm reaping amazing benefits which make it that much easier every day to do it over again.