Day 21

Tonight I'm watching last nights The Biggest Loser and I find myself identifying with Shay so much. When I saw her determination and courage I was blown away. She is doing things in that gym at 393 pounds that I cannot do yet (though I will be soon :)). When she hit that 100 pound loss mark I just started crying. How incredible is that! What's even more incredible, is that for the first time in my entire life I know that I am going to get there, and beyond. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am going to reach not only 100 pounds lost, but I will reach my goal of losing 200 pounds. I WILL DO IT.

I feel not only joy in this realization, but so much emotion. I have fought my weight for what seems my entire life. My whole identity has been wrapped up in food and fat and insecurity. I have never felt strong, or beautiful, or successful, or worthwile. I have achieved many things in my 30 years, but the one thing that I have failed at time and again is being healthy. I have been enslaved by my weight.

I have allowed myself to lose sight of the fact that no mater what, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I was bought with a price and am a daughter of the most high God. He loves me so much, no matter what I weigh, or how many success I have, or how many failures I have. I can do nothing to change the love He has for me.

I am beautiful. I am strong. I am successful. I AM WORTHWILE!

God has big plans for me and a huge part of that is this journey I am on right now. I want all women to know that no matter how big or small, you and I have been bought with a price and are called to glorify God in our body. We don't have to match up to the worlds standard of beauty. All we need to focus on is Him.

I'm doing this. I'm three weeks in to the rest of my life. I am going to be thin, and healthy, and one hot sexy woman! :)