Day 19

Well into my third week now I'm feeling like I'm doing it. It's no longer, "I can do this" , but rather, "I'm doing this!" I am successfully tackling this struggle I have faced my entire life. I'm no where near saying, "I've done this" but that's not the goal. My goal is to day by day be able to say, I did my best and I am successful. And I'm doing it!! :)

Something I've been struggling with the past two days that is new (oddly enough) is hunger. I have been getting to lunch feeling satiated, but after lunch until I fall asleep at night I am HUNGRY. And not just that small gnawing hunger you sometimes feel, but I'm talking actual hunger pain. Now, I don't think this is horrible, and I'm not complaining. But it scares me because I don't want to lose control and binge because I'm feeling so hungry.

Nancy and I are going to watch this over the next few days to see if it's just a passing thing, or perhaps I need to add more fiber or change some of my meals/snacks or even the times I'm eating. It's so great having that support!

Having someone to validate what I'm feeling, to have helpful, insightful advice, and to basically tell me it's not in my head is amazing! I don't feel so alone. She truly understands what I am feeling, and there is nothing more incredible than that.

Something else my hunger has been causing me to ponder is world hunger. I'm hungry because I'm choosing to eat less. But there are so many people who are truly hungry. Who have not eaten in days or weeks... That is unfathomable to me. The pain and hopelessness they must feel. I know how cranky I get when I'm ready to eat, I can't imagine what happens to a persons mind when they are literally starving... When I feel hungry I pray for those that are truly hungry. When my stomach hurts and cramps from hunger I get on my knees for the world because I can easily calm my stomach. But they have no answer... and that breaks my heart.